Animal Crossing: The Autobiography

That’s right, this furry little bastard right here, this little fucker’s caused me so much trouble, So yeah, one day, I hopped on the train to ‘fuckin nowheresville, and this fucking cat starts goddamn talking to me, that’s right, a talking goddamn motherfucking cat, seemed normal enough, started asking questions about stupid shit like “Are you a girl?”, I mean motherfuckin’ seriously, do I look like a fuckin’ goddamn woman? No, I motherfuckin’ don’t, so we had a nice fucking pleasant talk, he moved over and talked on goddamn the phone, I was glad that furry little motherfucker was gone at least for a minute, I was sick of hearing that fucking terrible robotic goddamn voice, fucking douchebag.

Anyways, I got off the train a few hours later, and this goddamn raccoon motherfucker jumps out of fucking nowhere, saying that I bought a house, what the fuck man, I’m like a little kid, I shouldn’t be goddamn motherfucking worrying about stupid fucking responsi-fucking-bilities like that shit, so he showed me the fucking house, went inside, and god-fucking damn that house sucked, it was dusty and small, and all it had was a fucking box and radio, fuck. So I asked the furry bastard how much for the goddamn house, he said it would be about 10 grand.

That’s right, motherfucking ten fucking grand, how the fuck am I suppose to goddamn afford that shit? So he said “YOU CAN WORK PART TIME IN MY MOTHERFUCKING SHOP” and I was like, fine you douchebag. So I went to the freaking shop and what do you know, it’s got spiderwebs, fucking hate spiders. Goddamn, I have a fucking sarcastic furry male boxxy as my goddamn landlord, fucking fucker assholes. So the first motherfucking thing he asked me to do is change in the goddamn store, no changing rooms or fucking privacy, motherfucking ass balls.

So I wore the uniform which looked like it had a goddamn leaf that some asshole took a bite out of. I had to plant shit outside of the goddamn store, no big fucking deal, he doesn’t seem to understand the goddamn child labor laws, gonna fucking sue his ass when I can afford a goddamn fucking phone. So then he asks me to talk to everyone in town, FUCK THAT SHIT, I did it anyway.

Anyways, after many repetitive tasks, I had finally paid off the goddamn house… OR DID I? Fucking shit. I have to pay about a fucking million more bells for the goddamn motherfucking house. That furry little bastard. I don’t even remember buying a fucking house, fucking shit.

I enjoyed reading that, very entertaining.

lmao you should of noted how everytime you pay him off, he seems to upgrade your house without being able to even say no.

That’s basically how I felt the whole time I was playing Animal Crossing.

lol crazy game

What the fuck?

I thought the cab driver was bad. Stereotyping girls saying they like cute things… and that just creeps me out.

I’m assuming Nalin did a quick youtube search, I have the url that contains the best Animal Crossing story ever.

No, I just didn’t bother posting a link to the LP. I still remember following that LP as it progressed.