Story of my life

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 10 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a three mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily half hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really fuckin hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Ford and reved it up to 200 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 32 MPH and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to FUCk Her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 15 mph in front of her house. These Ford’s have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was staring at my stick. Booya.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 3 inch dick is going inside her vagina, hitting them walls. I’m holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I’m fucking her and she had no orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says “harder.” V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick, because there isn’t much to fall off. There had to have been about a mL of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn’t disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I fail while trying to do a triple backflip into my Ford and drive home.

I don’t care.

Downsider watch out for Unixmad, 3 inches! :o…

Spooon’s version is epic

So that wasn’t the original writing? hmm

wtf spooon

ill post the original when i get a chance

but still wtf spooon

why bother, he’ll just change that one too

Epic–write another story for Spooon to edit…

I didn’t read it, but I want to take a potshot at Spooon.

does that mean you want to have sex with spooon

You should read it, Downsider’s like a hero, but really just pathetic.

Actually, maybe Spooon will edit your post for our entertainment as well, I demand in depth reading on gllt damnit!!






No more hate… Please, no more.

Hai I got you some flowerz.
Mmm what a feminine hand I have, I don’t remember those rings.

I hear he spends his nights hanging around bars, wearing woman’s clothing.