sup peeps. hows it going?

Chilling, homes. And playing Zelda and Dark Souls III :stuck_out_tongue:

not much. getting ready to graduate and have my life get harder lol

Wasting my life on graalonline classic.

just wait till you land a real job and have a steady and beefy income.

Pretty frustrated on my schizophrenia… I want to start looking for a relationship but I expect that to happen fairly often:

  • I have something important to tell you.
  • Oh no, really?
  • Yes, I have schizophrenia
    girl flees

I wish I figured out I was normal before ending up with schizophrenia, everything would have been different.

I’m also facing a life choice; I have to consider where I want to live like 6 months earlier than I expected.
It brings back my situation as a whole because I have to consider it, obviously.
I can tell you my situation sucks; especially if I consider what could have been.

How old are you? When did you start having Schizophrenia or were you born with it?

I’m 29, have been diagnosed at 24.
I don’t consider I’m born with it since I voluntarily put my mind under extreme stress for different reasons and in different ways.

Just the idea of having kids… omg, I want kids. I don’t want to adopt…

yeah now it’s all about getting a good income since I’ve got a lady in my life and she isn’t gonna be easy to please

[quote]- I have something important to tell you.

  • Oh no, really?
  • Yes, I have schizophrenia
    girl flees[/quote]

There is part of your problem. Almost everyone has some sort of issue, most people don’t go around advertising it though.

Just be yourself and whatever is natural to yourself, don’t go around forcing yourself into this or that or whatever all the cool kids consider normal. don’t go around saying “hey im schizophrenic, or hey im autistic, hey i’m adhd, or hey everybody i got whatever you have or think you have.” it’s not beneficial to yourself or anyone else. Let people pick up on the real you and let them like or dislike who you are and what you do.

Though people are so much more than simple machines, some comparisons can be made. A Caterpillar D-10 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caterpillar_D10 dozer can move large amounts of material, knock down almost anything and drive through anything but it’s super slow. Gene Snow’s https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Snow Nitro funny car can go 200+ mph on the drag strip, but do you think it can drive through mud or snow, or haul things or push things like the Caterpillar D10?

My point is people have different talents, different abilities, different specialties and some are fantastic in one area while being not so good in others. Maximize on your strengths while minimizing your weaknesses. I know this is easier said than done, but the first step is always the first step.

Terry Davis is an inspiration if Spider and Antago had a child it would be Terry Davis. http://www.templeos.org/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TempleOS and does unique and original things. Regardless of what you think of him and his style “i personally like it” you can’t say he doesn’t try and doesn’t do great things.

Another name that came to mind is Wesley Willis

I’m aware of all that and thankfully, I’m not as crippled as Terry Davis right there (who’s OS is amazing and weird).

The problem is I /will/ have to mention I have schizophrenia at some point in my relation with a woman and it will definitely be a hard event. I don’t care letting anyone know I have schizophrenia, people tend to respect me and find I’m of great intelligence. The matter is about finding a life partner… I’d feel sorry for her… like she’s wasting her life with me. Schizophrenia… I will need to be a really amazing person. Not necessarily to find a woman who will accept it… but to accept myself letting a woman I love choose me over any other man who is equivalent but not schizo.

I don’t believe in soul mate and true love stuff… a relationship grows with time and the person you chose eventually becomes more and more important to you, given the relationship is healthy.

All of this calls for being honest quick enough but not too early… and definitely not at her dwelling, as I’m imagining myself telling a woman right now. That could be pretty scary.

I’ve been lately feeling real bad.
I’ve always had issues with anxiety (youth traumas I guess which my conciousness doesn’t remember although I try). I’ve won a contest by Harvard University and Facebook, I’ve received a merit-based full scholarship by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to attend a great event. I’ve had great jobs as a Software developer since 17 years old with really good pays (half-time due to school), and now I’m 19 years old, just started college.
I wake up 5AM every day, go to college till 11:15AM, then go to work until 5PM, then go to the gym till 8PM, and then eat, shower, and sleep.

Thinking objectively, I’ve had a great life so far, however I feel really miserable. The more responsibility I got, the more anxiety I have, the more issues I got sleeping (I’ve not sleep fine for 2 weeks straight), my relationships with people around me have worsened a lot, my ideas of tragic events happening in my life have increased (maybe due to sleep depravation), etc… No money I have now, nor what many people may consider as blessings make me happy. I’m paying myself psychological treatment but so far no benefits. I feel that due to the stress and anxiety I’m having right now I’ll jjust drop off dead at some point in the following deads. I feel lonely, I feel anxiety makes me isolate and drives me to a vicious circle.

My neck is really rigid can barely move it.

I don’t even know why i share this lol, just wish me luck to sleep this night.

I believe if you see it as a vicious circle, it will be harder to break. I think anxiety can be normal with such a lifestyle. Don’t let your social life cripple.
I found it really really hard at ~20 to see people partying all over Facebook and never being called by anyone. I realize just now how absurd of a situation that was.

As I lost so many of those “friends”, it felt like I’d never have a social life ever again… until someone came out of the blue, invited people over Facebook to a D&D game at random. I realized later that person genuinely cared for me and it helped me a lot.

I’d suggest… I don’t know if it’ll work, never tried it… maybe I will… it looks like a good idea right now. I’d suggest you select two friends you prefer and schedule to spend time with either regularly (not as a group of 3… groups of 3 suck, never do that; there’s always someone feeling rejected). That way, I think you could keep a sense of what having a social life is without too much efforts. It also might be easier for you to further develop it when you’ll need it/have the time for it. Keeping your social skills, stuff like that… and if you want to find a girlfriend, having a social life is really helpful.

The psychological treatment is a good idea I think, can potentially keep you sure that you don’t go crazy over all of that. I don’t know where you live but you potentially could meet a physician to get sleeping pills, some medication for your neck (I take some, the pills I need make my neck rigid… so that exists) and maybe something for your anxiety if getting more sleep doesn’t help. Beware though, “anxiety pills” have intense withdrawal effects, so your choice.

I can’t give advice on anxiety, I am permanently somewhat anxious and get very narrow windows of time feeling alright. The anxiety pills don’t help me (yet I take some… I regret that). I have no idea how anxiety works… maybe it’s a matter of culture and lifestyle. Something went terribly wrong with humanity making so many people so anxious.

Good luck.

Eroz, I wish you and I could just shoot the shit 'cause a lot of what you said has plagued me also :confused: And as stupid as it sounds, talking does help. Sometimes drinking also, but that is to forget bad things rather then move past anything.

Anxiety is a bitch, depression is a bitch, anti-social behavior is a bitch, etc is a bitch.

HOSS, was this your plan from the start? Jeez.

Get xanax. All of you.

I have anxiety, depression, BED, and I finally buckled down and got help. I am on a drug called Vortioxetine (the brand name is Trintellix) and it works wonders for me. It’s helping me balance my eating, be more outgoing, and hopefully over time will increase my ability to focus on things. Not saying drugs are the answer, but they’re helping me.

I’ve tried lorazepam, wellbutrin and prozac. None really worked. My hopes for a working antidepressant or anxiety pill are pretty low. I can’t really complain though. It’s not that bad; it’s like noise. That noise has a lot of power over my life and motivation but I’m where I have to be in life in order to reverse that trend.

What’s BED?
Good thing you got help!

I’ve been accomplishing nothing just playing Zelda and working 6-7 nights a week in a factory while I wait for the Internet to magically reach me. (They’ve been finishing installation on the road before mine since the beginning of February. Maybe by June/July?) I started studying electronics but I haven’t made time to read recently and I’ve been waiting on a components order from Mouser for over a month.

I want to make stuff on GR but I’ve got too many other things I want to experiment with.

I don’t have time to work out a helpful response to the depression stuff, but I do live in a heroin hotbed where things are going downhill fast and work in Wilmington OH which is a small city that has basically gone off a cliff so I have some perspective on some of what’s hurting people. Mindset and attitude can destroy your life quickly and have a self multiplying effect. It will influence your behavior and decisions in self destructive ways with increasing momentum as you lose control. Socially things are not as they look on Facebook where you see the HIGHLIGHTS of other people’s lives.

I have to leave for work but I honestly don’t believe that finding the value in life through other people or work is the path to happiness. I think it comes through self improvement toward becoming the person who you actually want to be.

Sorry for the wall of text no time to edit or improve, bye. :stuck_out_tongue:

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I’ve been reading on survival, literal survival, and it explains that yes it’s all about mindset. It can make the difference between willing to survive and letting yourself just die.